Educating others about disAbility

Posted by Yafaau's Dad on Feb 9, 2011 in disAbility Awareness, Featured |

My post today is similar to others I’ve seen on the blogsphere, but I thought it was important to share and I hope that you add a few of your own to this list as well as share the link on your facebook page and post it on your personal blogs. Not everyone knows the right things to say and it is up to us to educate them. It just may help some of your friends and family members to understand your child better and to open the lines of communication.

I think most of you will agree that people who say these things are not mean spirited people, but good people who simply don’t understand that what they are saying or not saying can sometimes be hurtful.

Each of our children may have a different diagnosis and some may relate while others may not, but here are just a few things that you should NOT say to parents or family members who have people in their lives with special needs. Feel free to add what you think others should not say in the comment section.

What NOT to say…

• God only gives us what we can handle; He must think you two are special parents
• Using the word “Autistics” to describe people on the spectrum.
• Remember, you have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of them.
• He’ll speak when he’s ready to.
• When looking at my son using a reverse walker, “Wow, we need to get one of those for my (typical) 10 mo old so he/she can walk better!”
• They’ll EAT when they’re ready. They’re not going to starve to death.
• You are so much stronger than me… I don’t know how you do it
• Pointing out that my non-walker shouldn’t be in a stroller.
• They just need discipline.
• You two are amazing for adopting two special-needs children. They are SO LUCKY.”
• For a child that has tics, saying, “Do you think she is doing it for attention?”
• Anything that implies that sensory issues are not real or that we’re playing into their “fear.”
• When people say they are sorry or offer condolences for a child with disabilities.
• What’s wrong with her?
• Don’t worry she’ll catch up.
• She’ll grow out of it.
• Is your other son/daughter “normal”? or “Are your other kids ok?
• You are so much stronger than me and/or I don’t know how you do it.

SAY THIS! Instead …

• I don’t know what to say to you, but I love you.
• How are you doing? (and actually listen to the answer)
• “How Can I Help?”
• I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
• I just made an extra dinner when I was cooking for us, can I drop it by now?
• I know you had an appointment yesterday, how did it go?
• I’m on my way to the store, want me to grab you some milk or bread?

Always keep in mind that we would like people to perceive our kids as people who have feelings, and when you see our kids in a wheelchair or maybe with leg braces, please do not pull your curious child away from ours. By doing that you are sending the wrong message to both children. You are indirectly telling your child that my child is someone to fear. Thus making it much more difficult for acceptance.

Posted by Janet Lee Harrold at ExceptionalFamilyTV

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